I realize that when we’re dealing with Nintendo and its IT department, we’re talking to a group of people living in an undersea settlement who are getting media and news updates on a five year delay. We understand that these people have been locked away so long that they don’t know what Sony and Microsoft are up to, and the dolphins they have for friends are bunch of yes men. We get it. But that’s no excuse for Nintendo still not offering a proper account system for Nintendo Network IDs.
Not that I’m saying the NNIDs are a bad idea. They were a great idea, and the first step toward bringing Nintendo consoles and handhelds into the 2000’s. The problem is, it’s coming up on three years and it’s still the most basic account system. There are things they can’t do that other systems can, and it’s frustrating as Hell. Especially since three of these problems are going to come to a head when the New 3DS XL launches.
To start, we have to remember that we still live in an age where Friend Codes are a thing. People have to remember 12 digit codes to make friends. Never mind that the 3DS now supports a NNID and the Wii U manages to allow people to maintain a friends list based on it. Nintendo still hasn’t thought, “Hey! Maybe we could let all future friends be registered by an easy to remember NNID?” It’s a pity, and I suspect it’s because the aforementioned, undersea IT people’s dolphin friends are all number-loving geniuses.
The Friend Code issue is minor, however, when other NNID problems are taken into account. Who here has more than one version of a Nintendo handheld? Show of hands and/or flippers? I’m guessing most of you put them up, and I understand because I did too. I had a 3DS, a Pikachu 3DS XL, and will hopefully have a Majora’s Mask New 3DS XL by Friday. Sometimes, you have more than one system. If this were Sony or Microsoft, that would mean the company would let you log in on the new handheld with your information, without having to worry about authorizations.
Except this is Nintendo, and I guess dolphins only like to have one handheld at a time. Your NNID can only be tied to one 3DS system and one Wii U at a time. Why? Only the dolphins know. That means if someone wants to buy a New 3DS XL, they can’t sell their old model beforehand and log in, expecting everything to be ready once they do. They have to do a system transfer, which is said to be 2 hours for 4GB and longer for those with more data, to use the new system. Afterwards, the old system is a blank slate. No families sharing multiple systems here!
Now for the worst part. Imagine you somehow didn’t know all this and sold your 3DS. Maybe it was stolen. You want to get a New 3DS XL and expect to log in to your NNID and immediately start using it.
Wait. Do you hear that? Do you know what that sound is? It is the sound of all those dolphins laughing, because that won’t happen.
Once a NNID is linked to a system, you can’t just log into a new system and have it transfer. You also can’t go to an official website and unregister that old device. You have to actually call Nintendo during business hours and tell them that your system was lost/sold/stolen. Only then will Nintendo representatives, clad in their speedos and bikinis and enjoying Mai Tais while looking at a coral reef, unlink it from your old system.
It’s all absolutely ridiculous. There is no excuse for a company’s account system running like this in 2015. Granted, this is Nintendo we’re talking about, so it probably won’t change once the New 3DS XL is released. NNIDs likely won’t be on par with the XBL and PSN IDs until 2020, and even then they’ll be akin to XBL and PSN IDs from 2010. Still, sometimes ranting helps, and perhaps this will give you a heads-up so you’ll know what you’ll be dealing with in a few days.