Ever since their creation, most of Nintendo’s characters have existed in a non-sexual universe where babies obviously exist (e.g. baby Yoshi), but they seem to just appear without any nudity on their parents’ part.
And this is how it should be.
In fact, the next person who tries to convince me that Princess Peach looks hot in her Mario Tennis outfit is going to get reported to the authorities. Princess Peach is adorable in the same way that pandas are adorable, not in the same way that Megan Fox is adorable.
But with Nintendo trying to reel hardcore gamers back into the fold using the Wii U, it’s starting to look like they might begin to rethink their marketing and game design with the same kind of adult focus. And, even though most Nintendo characters live in a sex-free universe, there are several that could easily increase Nintendo’s sex appeal.
Bayonetta
Many of you may remember Bayonetta from her romp on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 a few years ago. The gameplay is a bit like Devil May Cry, which makes sense because they were both directed by Hideki Kamiya.
Bayonetta herself fits comfortably within the PS3 and 360 libraries, but a few eyebrows were raised when Platinum Games announced that the sequel, Bayonetta 2, would be a Wii U exclusive.
I think Nintendo just got significantly sexier.
Lady Lyndis
Lyn is one of the three protagonists from Fire Emblem, which hit the Gameboy Advance in 2003. She obviously enjoys revealing outfits and deadly weapons, and somehow manages to make turn-based strategy games sexy.
However, Americans haven’t been able to spend a ton of quality time with Lady Lyndis because most of the Fire Emblem titles were released exclusively in Japan (and ported to U.S. consoles much later). But with Fire Emblem’s well-established popularity, and the Wii U’s newfound attraction to hardcore gamers, perhaps Nintendo will give Lady Lyndis the release that she deserves.
Joanna Dark
Joanna Dark was one of the only Nintendo-exclusive characters who had some genuine sex appeal. She first appeared on the Nintendo 64, which was the last Nintendo console to be taken seriously by hardcore gamers. Then she made a quick stop on the Game Boy Color, and then appeared in Perfect Dark Zero, an Xbox 360 prequel. But she’s been relatively quiet ever since.
The Wii U would be the perfect opportunity for Nintendo to recapture a mature audience by releasing another title in the Perfect Dark franchise, but considering that Microsoft currently owns the rights, I have a feeling that Joanna Dark won’t be showing up on a Nintendo console any time soon.
Alexandra Roivas
Very few gaming systems were less sexy than the GameCube, but Nintendo did manage to release Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem on the cubicle console. Sanity’s Requiem was a psychological horror title that saw protagonist Alexandra Roivas investigating her grandfather’s murder.
Alex is a college student from a Washington university who frequently manages to find her way onto those Video Game Hotties lists. I don’t think it would be fair to say that she’s overtly sexy, but she is easy on the eyes and I think we would all be happy to reacquaint ourselves if Nintendo released another Eternal Darkness title.
Samus
Samus needs no introduction or explanation. I’m sure we’ll see another Metroid title on Nintendo’s newest console. The question is how they’ll handle their hottest female character.
 | By Josh Engen News Director Date: November 26, 2012 |
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*