I was sitting down at my computer getting ready to write, not a worry in the world, and what do I see? News about video game boobs. Not just any boobs either, but boobs that can be bouncier or not, depending on your preference. I'm starting to question the cosmic alignments of the planets and stars. My name has to be written down in a book of “people who talk about weird video game stuff.” Maybe my parents were in some kind of weird voodoo cult when I was a baby, but were too embarrassed to admit it. Whatever the case may be, I have discovered more crazy stuff to chat about.
This time, we're looking at a title in the Dead or Alive franchise. I'm sure this comes as a shock to many of you, but what better game to pick from when it comes to talking about boobs? Dead or Alive Xtreme: Venus Vacation is a free-to-play PC game from Koei Tecmo and DMM. It's entirely in Japanese, so I couldn't tell you what the game involves, other than it seems to focus on bikinis, hot girls, and volleyball. Thanks to the folks over at DualShockers, I can also tell you that Dead or Alive Xtreme: Venus Vacation includes some rather incredible items.
These four items are the reason for our conversation today. They include a pair of lotions and gels. A soft gel applied to your Dead or Alive Xtreme girl of choice will make her boobs bounce more softly. A soft lotion will cause the deformation animations on the girl to be softer as well. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Dead or Alive Xtreme: Venus Vacation also includes thick gel and lotion that makes the bounce and deformation of the girl's chest less flexible. Why in the world you would want more rigid bouncing, I'm not sure. I guess maybe you added too much soft gel and the jiggling got completely out of hand. Think Alice trying to drink and eat her way to a normal size, for comparison.
My first thought when I saw this news was pretty simple: of course this is in Dead or Alive. The franchise prides itself on its ridiculous physics engine. Why wouldn't they want to show off how they've mastered all the subtleties? Rather than a faceless animator deciding just how much jiggle those jugs will have, the player gets to decide. Before anyone chimes in with something like “games journalism is dead,” this is clearly meant to be a silly discussion about a game that doesn't take itself too seriously. Dead or Alive is well-known for having bouncing boobs.
I will say that the Dead or Alive developers know what they're doing. Dead or Alive Xtreme: Venus Vacation is probably a fine free-to-play title. But adding small things like these potions and gels after the fact are great for long-time players. DLC doesn't always have to be a brand new multiplayer mode built from the ground up or a new playable character. Sometimes, it can just be a new outfit to stare at while you wile away the hours. Or in this case, some new animations to enjoy while you partake in some sunny beach volleyball goodness. Little details are just as good at entertaining fans as large additions. I think it's easy to lose sight of this in today's age. So Dead or Alive Xtreme: Venus Vacation players, I hope you enjoy the crap out of those new animations. Let me know how well they work!