So I’ve been playing this The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD game and, I don’t know how to break this to you all, but I think this Link fellow is a bit of a jerk. I mean, I always had my suspicions about him. I already knew he was the kind of guy you couldn’t let watch your chickens. That fascination with masks is a little creepy too. (As a good man named Fezzik once said, “People in masks cannot be trusted.”) Don’t even get me started with what’s really happening with those fairies.
But what I’ve seen him do in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD has really given me pause. Link is most certainly up to no good. He’s going beyond the simple home invasion, vase smashing, and meddlesome nosiness you expect from an average RPG hero. Now he’s more than an odd kid with weird habits; he’s just plain obnoxious.
I mean, I could tell right away on Outset Island that this is a kid with attitude problems. He had this careless disregard for the piglets running around town. It seemed like he was getting his kicks by sneaking up on a piggy, grabbing it, running to the pier, and chucking it into the Great Sea. I know, I probably shouldn’t judge. Life on a remote island is bound to be boring, and he could have done worse, but I could have sworn I saw him pick up this rather adorable pink piglet with black spots and toss it into the ocean at least three times for no good reason.
On the plus side, I learned pigs could swim. But still, It didn’t seem right somehow.
Now that he’s off the island, he also has this penchant for attacking monsters with their own weapons. Yes, I know they’re monsters. They exist to be wiped out by heroes with floppy hats, green tunics, and tights. Still, they deserve a bit of dignity. If Link is going to wipe them out, let it be with his own sword or bow. Whacking them once, then grabbing their own spear or sword to finish the job seems like adding insult to injury. These dudes know they are cannon fodder. Does Link really have to use their own weapons against them?
Of course, then there is what he does to a poor, little Rito girl named Medli. This is a dedicated child who only wants to help Valoo, Dragon Roost’s guardian, by finding out what is distressing him. At first, Link seemed like he was going along to assist her, but now he delights in repeatedly throwing Medli against the wind currents so that she smacks into a wall. I think he derives enjoyment from watching her see stars. I almost can’t watch. (But I do. And I laugh.) What kind of hero chucks noble bird children into walls because it’s hilarious to see them stumble around stunned afterwards? An obnoxious one.
It is Link’s showcasing of the worst habit ever that made me see his true colors in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD though. He is constantly taking selfies. The kid’s one of the few people in the Great Sea with a Pictobox. He should be capturing pictures of historic events, or rare creatures, or important people. Instead, he’s constantly taking pictures of himself in inappropriate situations. Like when Link was supposed to be taking a test that proves he’s really a hero, he was instead taking a selfie while he fought a floating head with two hands. Not cool, Link.
Seriously, Link has got some issues. I mean, the fact that he’s able to go around doing all this in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD has got to say something. Oh sure, he gets away with it because he’s this big “Hero of the Winds,” and maybe even people worry he’ll use his Wind Waker to constantly mess up their hair. But we know his true colors. We see him for the obnoxious, selfie taking, pig-chucking boy he is.