You Need Nikki UP2U to Take You Down a Peg
Nikki UP2U

Have you ever looked at yourself and wondered if your self image is a little too positive? Perhaps you've decided you're just too awesome, but feel you need a little humbling. Well then, you need a little (free) Android game called Nikki UP2U in your life to take you down a notch. Think of it as Self Esteem Eliminator 2014. It will bring you back down to Earth.

Oh, but you probably got a little too hung up on that splash image, there. You know, the one of Nikki in her altogether. Don't get excited. It's just your everyday, ordinary trap. After about three hours of playing, I can pretty wholeheartedly say that Nikki UP2U is supposed to be a dress-up game where players attempt to meet the vaguest, most poorly translated objectives ever to earn money, become a designer's muse and also lure out and hunt down a murderer.

Yes, it's that kind of game.

Nikki UP2U seems innocent and innocous. Let's dress up a cute, anime-inspired character in various fashions. But there's a dark underbelly. From the rampant assaults on a players fashion choices, to the questionable descriptions of garments, and the ridiculous story objectives, it's clearly playing on another level. After all, Nikki tells us at one point she's going to put on her clothes from her military days, while another instance has her pet/assistant/abusive best friend tells her to dress frumpy to make a stalker stop following her.

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Though no Nikki UP2U player can really fault Momo. Momo is the voice of reason and wisdom. He/She/It is the one that will put us all in our place. It's amazing really, how incendiary, yet inspiring, this mascot's comments are. Before Nikki goes anywhere she consults Momo, so players are left at this figure's mercy. Are you stylish enough for the "Graveyard visit is grave" mission? Only Momo will know.

And, rest assured, Momo is not afraid to tell you the truth. His grading scale is harsh. The i>Nikki UP2U grading scale is as follows. S is incredible. A is pretty darn good. B is tolerable. Everything else is a big fat F. If you can't make yourself passably presentable, it's an automatic failure, and Momo pulls out the big guns to show you how you've let him down. Here are some of the choicest quotes from his repetoire.

  • "I am really thankful you never tried to dress me up."
  • "Looking that bad must have taken a lot of effort."
  • "I can't stop laughing at you."
  • "You'd look better naked."

Don't worry though, as Nikki UP2U will reward you for your failure, provided it happens enough. An achievement unlocks after earning 50 "F"s, so let your imagination run wild and take that abuse.

Of course, even when you win, you get to die a little inside. Like I said, Nikki UP2U is all about keeping you humble. Even when your fashion choices are pretty enough to allow for the strutting of stuff, Momo puts a little edge into it, to make sure you don't get too big for your britches. (Catch that pun? Momo would have, and tore into me for it.) In fact, it's those reward messages that really make this self esteem slaughterer shine.

"Know you can look this good, you should be ashamed that you often look terrible."

  • "Know you can look this good, you should be ashamed that you often look terrible."
  • "I would even consider wearing this! I mean, nowhere too nice..."
  • "Great coordination. It's nice to see you put some effort in for a change!"
  • "You know, you might not die alone after all!"

You are never good enough for Momo, never. Which will leave you always, constantly, striving for more. For those rare comments when Momo, in a decidedly un-Momo way, says something like, "Thought I'd be disappointed, but you look ridiculously fantastic."

Nikki UP2U

There were times I almost suspected Momo isn't real. That Momo is the voice inside Nikki's head, in all of our heads, attempting to keep us from making grievious mistakes.  Then, that snarky, snipping commentary surfaces and reassures anyone playing that yes, there is a Momo and he/she/it only wants what is best for us. Unwavering support is nice, but you can't put a price on the virtual, verbal abuse that keeps you sharp and on edge.

Truly, Nikki UP2U is a game that will put players in their place, regardless of gender. It lulls you in with a false sense of security and ridiculous situations that put you at ease. Then, when you least expect it, Momo will fail you, question your competance, and say that he wishes our clothes were torn up.

Just try and keep it away from any children and people suffering from clinical depression. Some people just can't handle the Momo.

Jenni Lada
Jenni Lada
@JMariye

Contributing Writer
Date: 01/07/2014

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