Not Every Game Has to be Localized
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We always lament the lack of localization for some Japanese games. We mourn the lack of games like Captain Rainbow, Nanashi no Game, and Idolmaster. I'd say and Tokimeki Memorial too, especially the Girl's Side installments, but I get the feeling that's just me. But, there are times we should be thankful companies drop the ball. Sometimes there are games that, while they may seem promising, just don't deserve the localization. We should be thankful games like these never make it out of Japan.

Because we don't need games like Kobito Dukan: Kansatsu Set, and it's damn, teasing Kusamadara Ookobitos.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We should be happy we don't get some games, like Fatal Frame IV: Mask of the Lunar Eclipse. I mean, I'm a big fan of the Fatal Frame games. Even after being subjected to the horror that was Spirit Camera: The Hidden Memoir, the fond memories of the first three games are enough to keep the torch in my heart lit for those suspenseful games. And the lack of Fatal Frame IV is a good thing, because its inherent problems could have further tarnished the series' name.

I'm sure we're all okay with the fact that Fatal Frame IV's story once again offers a similar tale of a bizarre ritual, with the same kind of creepy, greasy-haired ghosts. It's the Fatal Frame IV controls that would have killed us. I've played the game and I assure you, they're terrible. You have to use motion controls and the Nunchuk's control stick at the same time to aim the camera, which works really well when you have to take pictures of quickly moving specters. By the way, you also have to be careful when you're holding the Wii Remote to get the shot, because motion controls also determine if you dodge.

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Suddenly, the lack of Fatal Frame IV doesn't feel so bad. Just like it's not so bad that the kimokawaii, ugly cute dwarves of Kobito Dukan aren't crawling around inside of our 3DSes.

Love Plus is another game that we should be okay about never getting. The first game was an interesting premise--a real-time dating game that was also essentially a girlfriend simulator. The problem is, Konami saw what a money maker the game was and, instead of being innovative and moving on to, say, Love Plus: Girl's Side, decided to go for the cash grab. Every single Love Plus game since the original has been an "updated" version of that same game.

Which means if we had ever gotten the original Love Plus, or Love Plus +, we would have only felt all kinds of regret when New Love Plus or New Love Plus + was released in Japan. Because we'd know the English version wasn't the absolute best version of the game available, and we'd never get the penultimate edition.

Maybe when Totally New Love Plus + is released, it'll be okay if Konami caves and decides to let an English speaking Love Plus into our hearts.

But we should never, ever let the first Kobito Dukan game in.

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See, a while ago, I imported a Japanese 3DS. I figured it was time, because there were so many Japanese games I wanted. Since Kobito Dukan: Kansatsu Set was super cheap, I figured I should make it a part of my initial library. Besides, one of my missions in life is to play the weirdest games I can find. So Kobito Dukan: Kansatsu Set should have been my holy grail.

Except it's not. It throws a horrible mass of tutorials at you, so thick it's like walking into a web of silly string, while having a group of kids constantly cover you with three cans more. Then, when it seems like the first tutorials are over, it traps you in one area and forces you to capture a Kusamadara Ookobito (that's the little dude in the screenshot above) Which is a real joy, because it took me over an hour and a half to catch one of those evasive buggers.

And then Kobito Dukan: Kansatsu Set tossed me into, you guessed it, another tutorial. It won't let me play with (torture) my ugly dwarf buddy. No, it has to quiz me on what I should and shouldn't do to make this jerk happy. Which means another half hour of tutorials, until I rage quit because the dang game won't let me take photos of and play with whatever the hell a Kobito Dukan really is.

So, we should actually be thankful that we don't get every single game made in Japan. Otherwise, we'd be up to our ears in horrible, little Kusamadara Ookobito!

Jenni Lada
Jenni Lada
@JMariye

Contributing Writer
Date: 03/06/2014

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