I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point in the recent past, gamers started trying to convince everyone that they're sexy. Now, I'm not saying that gamers as a group don't have any sex appeal—that would be judgmental and ridiculous—but the two have historically been mutually exclusive in the public eye. So, in order to be sexy, one had to downplay his love for video games.
And even though I appreciate the community's transition out of sexual ambiguity, it still feels a little dishonest when outlets like VoucherCodesPro attempt to separate the gaming community subgroups in order to quantify and compare sexiness. But that's exactly what they did, and Xbox owners, apparently, have the most notches in their headboards.
According to Metro, 1,747 people were asked to rate their partner's sexual performance.
The largest group of respondents, 27 percent, said that their partner was simply "good" in the bedroom, and only 11 percent gave an "excellent" rating. 26 percent referred to their partner's sexual performance as "average," and 20 were disappointed.
The weird part, though, is the way these numbers shake out when separated by console. Over half of the Xbox owners, 54 percent, gave their partners a "good" rating, and 22 percent were regarded as "excellent." This is the only article that I’ve ever written where it’s appropriate to use the term SeXbox 360.
PC gamers, unfortunately, landed at the other end of the spectrum. Only three percent were described as "excellent," while eight percent landed in the "good" category.
VoucherCodesPro also asked players to rank the frequency of their sexual encounters. 21 percent of the respondents wanted "more sex, less gaming," but a sexually satisfied 11 percent wished for "less sex, more gaming."
Now that you've seen all of the numbers, I should probably mention that this study probably suffers from a number of biases. So, it might not be a good idea to rub the results into our PlayStation-owning friends' faces just yet.
People are notoriously inaccurate when it comes to self-reporting their emotions. They can only really judge the way they're feeling at the moment, which probably doesn't generalize to their entire life.
Either way, the implication is obvious: John Stamos is clearly an Xbox owner.
Date: April 9, 2013