How dare you, Nintendo? You have got SUCH nerve. I had Pokemon X plans. Great plans, if I do say so myself, and in the span of about a week, you've ruined everything with your Fire-type starter agenda.
Yes. I know now that there is an agenda at play. Perhaps even a conspiracy. You want us to play with fire, Nintendo. Don't deny it.
It started with the Pokemon X and Y starters. I have nothing against Chespin and Froake. They're special in their own ways, but Fennekin is the best. It's an adorable, psychic fox that happens to look like a fennec fox. Have you ever seen a fennec fox? They're irresistible. And so is Fennekin.
So for the last five months, I've known I'd have to start with Fennekin. I was wavering on whether to get Pokemon X or Pokemon Y, but there was no starter doubt in my mind.
Then, last week, Nintendo revealed Mega Charizard X. Mega Charizard X is the Pokemon X Mega Evolution of Charizard, and it is a black and blue Fire/Dragon-type Pokemon. It ended my internal, "Which version should I get?" debate, but allowed a new doubt to enter my mind. I knew that I had to have a Mega Charizard X. There's no question. However, that would mean choosing Charmander as my second starter. Which means my initial party would have two Fire types in it, Fennekin and Charmander.
As any Pokemon fan knows, this is a true dilemma. It is always in your best interest to diversify, and that usually means having multiple types in your party. Yet, I knew I needed both Fennekin and Charmander in my life.
I thought hard on it, and decided I could make it work. I'm mainly crazy for Fennekin's initial form. So I made a plan. As soon as my party filled up, I'd bench it, and Charmander would be my go-to character.
Until Nintendo announced today that it's giving away Torchics at launch.
Which is absolutely wrong. It's unconscionable. I mean, I have to download the free Torchic. I can't just ignore a gift Pokemon with Speed Boost. Yet, I don't think I can resist Charmander and Fennekin either. Which would mean my initial party would have three Fire starters. Unless the first gym, by some miracle, is filled with Bug, Grass, or Ice-type Pokemon, I'm screwed.
This is blatant type-ism, Nintendo, and you know it. Yes, Blastoise and Venusaur have Mega Evolutions, and there are always Chespin and Froake, but you had to go ahead and pull this Super Effective move. But I'll show you. As much as I love Fennekin, I'm going to fight back!
Come on, Froake. Let's roll. Wait, no, I’ll call you “Disco Frog” or “Jiraya” or some other cool name. We'll find you some Rare Candies and upgrade you to ninja-frog status, stat.