What Video Game Junk Food Are You?

Sometimes, you get an idea. You know it’s a bad idea, but you do it anyway.Something bouncing around in the back of your head kinda likes it. It’s like having a bag full of candy and knowing you could eat all of it in one sitting. Speaking of candy, ever hear of the “What Bar?” wrestling nerd gag, where wrestlers get compared to junk food? I figured I’d try something similar with snacks and games. Which tasty treats and sweet delights somehow corespond to our favorite games? Well, it turns out quite a few work really well. (I need a nap.)

5. M&Ms - Pokemon

It makes sense that M&Ms are so popular. You buy one bag and get so many individual pieces at once. That way, you think you’re getting more bang for your buck. But despite how many of them there are and how colorful a bag full of M&Ms is, they all kind of taste the same. There are a variety of different versions, though. That sure does sound like a certain monster-collecting series, doesn’t it?

4. Doritos - Call of Duty

The salt is real. Playing hours of Call of Duty games means encountering the best and worst of the gamer world. You'll see cool folks fighting with and against you online, while also taking part in shoot-outs with people who... well... aren't as kind. It also means you'll end up facing people of all sorts of skill levels and more than a few trolls ready to grief you. Like any variety of Doritos chips, you're going to get salty. Also, you might feel a little greasy too, if you pull some underhanded tricks to win. Not to mention, both go great with Mountain Dew! (Also, you know, there are those whole Mountain Dew, Doritos, and Call of Duty ad campaigns that keep popping up.)

3. Twix - Super Smash Bros.

Twix is one of my personal favorite candy bars, and I had a heck of a time assigning a game to it. Twix is weird. I don’t even like caramel, but that cookie filling on the inside just rules. Covering it all in chocolate masks the caramel enough to help it act as sugary glue. It’s an odd combination, but there’s a lot to appreciate about it while you’re chewing on it. Super Smash Bros. is not just a Nintendo crossover. It’s a Nintendo crossover and a fighting game. Plus, each game is full of more and more collectibles, historic content, and other little gaming trinkets. 

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2. Snickers - Assassin’s Creed

Snickers bars are popular because they’re so dense. They can seem kind of generic when you look at the bigger picture, but if you’re actually hungry and in search of substance, nothing beats a Snickers. That’s precisely what makes Snickers the Ubisoft open world game of candy bars, as well as one of the world's most popular candies. The chief Ubisoft open world series is Assassin’s Creed, because it’s the most creative and generally inoffensive of the bunch. So, this is a perfect fit.

1. Little Debbie Snack Cakes - Tetris Effect

Tetris, in any form, is a sweet treat. It's a puzzle dessert you can savor after any experience. Yet, it also doesn't ever feel too heavy. Especially since games like Tetris Effect keep things light and breezy. In short, it's like one of those Little Debbie snack cakes. It's sweet, it gives you a nice taste of something delicious, and it doesn't have to be a major, full affair. But then, you're also going to wonder exactly how good Tetris Effect is going to be for you, considering how many hours you might spend inside of that VR headset and the way it invades people's dreams. It's just like any of those snack cakes you eat!

Lucas White
Lucas White

Writing Team Lead
Date: 11/06/2019

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